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In fact, it’s one of the most important words in your dating vocabulary. Especially as women, we’re taught to be likable and easygoing on dates, and we focus more on how to be liked than whether or not we actually like them (but more on that below). You know what we should vow to end in 2022? Going on dates we’re not excited about, texting back people we don’t like, or not vocalizing what we want and need in our relationships to protect other people’s egos. Overall, let’s work on saying “no” when we want to say no. Compromise and empathy are crucial in relationships, but so is respect for each other’s wants and needs. Communicating what you don’t want should be just as easy as what you do. If it’s not, this person doesn’t respect you or care about you as much as they say they do. Thank you, next.

Furthermore, a guy who is trying too hard to impress a girl might agree with everything she says, thinking that disagreeing might make the girl not like him. In a nutshell, guys who feel they need to impress a woman think that they are in an inferior position, and as such, they need to do all it takes to measure up. And the downside to this is that it makes you come off as needy. Out of the need to impress, most guys will talk too much about themselves and their achievements, lie to make themselves look good, over-flatter the girl, etc., all of which will quickly make them a bore to the girl. One of the frequently asked questions on Google about dating is “how to get a girl to have sex with you on a first date.” This is one of the biggest mistakes guys make with dating. You see, if your mind is already on how you’ll have sex with a girl right from the first date, that’s going to affect how you relate with her.

Studies show that intelligence is one of the major things women look at when choosing a romantic partner. And one of the reasons women find intelligence attractive, as many women have confessed, is how intelligence manifests in a man. For instance, if you’re in a conversation (or an argument) with an intelligent man, he’s able to show you how independent his mind is. Instead of just agreeing with everything the woman says, he’s going to present unique perspectives that are going to make the women look at the world differently. And this isn’t something most women come across every day. Furthermore, intelligent men are just more self-aware. They can handle conversations better and handle themselves properly. Women find all these charming.

Set healthy boundaries – even before you meet: It’s natural to flirt via messages and conversations in the beginning stages of dating. You’re pursuing a romantic connection, after all! However, if your date is crossing boundaries and making you feel uncomfortable, politely let them know immediately. For example, if they make an advance that feels like too much too soon, express your feelings: “That makes me feel uncomfortable, could we take a step back from that please?”

Dating is supposed to be about finding what you want, not becoming what someone else wants. Some people will like you and some people won’t. Whether or not someone wants to pursue a relationship or a second date with you has nothing to do with how likable you are, but it does have to do with compatibility. And I think we can all agree there are many people we wouldn’t mind being incompatible with. Prioritize what you want in a partner by making a list of non-negotiable qualities or values you want, and stop yourself from getting caught up in what a relationship or person could be. Instead, ask yourself if you genuinely enjoy each person you’re talking to and whether or not they deserve you.

Work through your baggage. Everyone has a few scrapes and scars from previous experiences that can creep into their love lives. For instance, maybe your parents failed to show you consistent affection, and now you find yourself being extra needy in relationships. Or maybe your ex cheated on you, leaving you with some serious trust issues. Regardless of what baggage you’re carrying around, it’s time to dig deep and work through it. Otherwise, it may prove next to impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone new. Bottom line? Clear your mind of “the one who got away” and you’ll have a much easier time recognizing someone great when you see them. Whether that means meditating, working with a therapist or dating coach, practicing self-care, or keeping yourself busy with healthy distractions, the point is that you’ll be far more likely to actually achieve your romantic goals IRL, rather than just in your head.

My motto is: you get what you put up with. So, are you willing to accept someone who walks all over you, disrespects your boundaries, or takes from you without giving in return? Expect more. Better yet, work on believing that you deserve more, and that way, you can hold any future partners accountable. Start by making a list of all the skills and positive qualities you can bring to the table in a relationship. Are you a compassionate listener? Generous with your time? Have a great sense of humor? If you need to, ask friends for their take on what your biggest strengths are. Once you’ve drafted your list, read it every single day. Eventually, it’ll start sinking in that you have a lot to offer in a relationship, and therefore, should only be with someone who not only appreciates all of those qualities but also has a lot to offer in return.

How you feel when you are with them is another important factor. If you feel easy, safe and secure effortlessly, it is a green flag. They have created an atmosphere which is safe and feels like home to you where you can discuss everything and anything with them. Everyone is busy with their hectic personal and professional lives, but the one who makes time for you despite being busy is a green flag. If they take time to spend moments with you within their jam-packed schedule, then this is a green sign that they are the one who cares for you and loves you.

Don’t…take someone else for granted! Like you, the other person is trying to date in difficult times and don’t want their time wasted, so be considerate. If something doesn’t feel right, be honest and give the chance for you both to move on. Do…set healthy boundaries. Those who feel they give more than they receive in dating and relationships, may have difficulties setting healthy boundaries. It could be time to work on yourself first. There is plenty of help available like the Made My Date ‘Coaching for Dating’ service, to set boundaries and provide tools to help improve your dating.